Top Excuses To Miss Church

1.  Well,  I could not come to the church last Sunday, because there was a sermon in the radio.

2.  There are too many hypocrites in church.

3.  I can’t follow what they do, so why should I just sit there.

4.  I don’t like the songs we have to sing.

5.  I’m not religious.

6.  I don’t like all the hollering and yelling some people do.

7.  I don’t go to church on Sunday because getting the kids dressed in their Sunday Best first thing in the morning makes me cuss and curse the Lord……very loudly.

8.  I don’t go to church cause I have a feeling that God doesn’t like agnostics.

9.  Early one Sunday morning, two men were on a golf course.  One turns to the other and says, “You know how religious I am.  I couldn’t go to church this morning because my wife is sick.”

10. There is too much praying going on.

11. All the parking spaces are full.

12. I’m afraid that I might get bitten by a Christian and turn into one myself.

13. I’ve nothing for the offering because I’m saving up for a gas-powered sweater.

14.  I’ve nothing for the offering because I’m saving up for a gas-powered sweater.

15. I was forced to go when I was a younger.