1. They never could tell me for sure if there will be an “afterlife” for Fluffy (or Fido) when my animal loved ones go on to die.
2. They don’t meet my needs.
3. I still go to the bars on Saturday night.
4. I don’t think I really believe in God…. I’m just not sure.
5. I don’t understand what’s goin’ on anyway.
6. I don’t like the songs we have to sing.
7. I hate it when they ask me to stand up and introduce myself.
8. There aren’t any good-looking girls there.
9. They’re always asking me for more of my money.
10. Nobody notices when I’m gone anyway.
11. My cat is a prophet, I get all my Godly advice straight from the cat’s mouth. If the cat doesn’t tell me to got to church, I consider it great wisdom of the prophet.
12. Sorry I couldn’t go to church last week, the devil is a horrible thing.
13. If someone asks why you weren’t at church look down and say ‘yeah I’ve been bad, but you’re a Christian, please forgive me!’
14. I love going to church but the Pastor told me If I want to singing the Choir I can no long wear pants but must wear a Dress or Skirt.
15. The organist hit a sour note about two months back.
16. I work for the government. Seperation of church and state, you know.
17. I’ll get religious in my next life.
More Excuses For You
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Some of those excuses are great! I wonder if anyone would take you seriously if you told them straight-faced that your cat was a prophet.